She said she couldn’t just go “cold turkey.” What is this supposed to mean.
I know, I already know what it means. But look at our history. She’ll never quit.
Drugs are “always” around. I know this. You know this too. That doesn’t mean you have to do them.
Sure, it’s hard to stop when most of your friends do them, but I’m your girlfriend. Or at least I thought I was. I’ve let you continue your own habits since day one. I don’t think I can make it to this year and a half with you still doing them.
That was our compromise wasn’t it? And doesn’t it kill you to see the word “promise” in that word “compromise”? I think this is why this promise to me that you’d stop never seems to work out.
I’m ready to let go. I’m not proud of this any more. I am really in love with you, but I can’t love you the same when I see how you get. You’re a different person. Not to mention, last year you weren’t too kind to me at school because of your addiction. Let’s leave it at that. In the beginning of summer you promised you wouldn’t do drugs when we were at our friend’s house. I already knew the real reason you wanted us to visit her. It wasn’t because we were “all” friends. I know better. You just wanted something. Yeah, going to her house wasn’t too appealing any more after I told you I wasn’t going unless you promised not to do it. I mean, was it really that hard? –it was for two days, barely two days to not do anything.
Of course, you couldn’t even do that.
And I cried to myself in the car. Because I see how much you need that stuff, and I see how you abuse it. And now, it’s starting to take its toll on abusing me. Please, let me go.
We tried to work together to get you to stop. You promised and swore on your dead Gramma who you loved so much that you were done. You know the past history with your family and drugs. So please….why is it so hard?
You forgot about your promise you made a long time ago, this already created compromise…saying you would quit if it got too much for me to handle. Now you’re forgetting your recent promise and your recent swear. You want a new compromise that makes me be subjected to the same thing all over again. You say you won’t be into it as much, you say you won’t do it as often. You say, you say, you say.
I want proof, and no more chances. You have to show me right now how you aren’t attached to that stuff. Show me you can think for yourself. Please. I’m begging you.
How could you let me sit there and nod, “yes….we can try to compromise (again).” I know the truth, you will only keep making me feel guilty. So keep that guilt trip you wanted to give me, and keep your beloved drugs, and all of those friends who make me feel left out and bullied, lonely. I don’t need you this school year. It’s just me and my grades. I care about my own mental health more now than ever. You can’t do this to me again. I’m not watching you throw yourself away and die faster than everyone else.
I love you, but I can’t be in love with you any more. Baby, I’m going numb. You think I’m being selfish, trying to break up with you out of my own reasons. I’m hurting more than you know, having to see the one I love so much not be strong enough to say “No.”